Audition Notice

A Little Murder Never Hurt Anybody, by Ron Bernas

Director: Tina Sitko

Production dates: 26th Sept - 30th Sept 2017

Auditions: Sunday 18th June Noon (Stage)

Rehearsals: Mon, Weds, Thurs and Fri 7pm – 10pm. Some Sundaysclose to opening night maybe required.  Start 31st July.

There will be a 2 week break in rehearsals whilst Earthquakes in London is in from 13th - 27th August.

It’s New Year’s Eve at the Perry mansion, and Julia and Matthew Perry seem to have it all,  a mansion in the country, a daughter about to be married, financial stability and a good solid marriage….or do they?

After Mr Perry advises his wife that that his good friend has been having the best time of his life….now that he is a widower! Matthew announces he wants something similar. 

Unfortunately for Matthew, his wife is in good health and unlikely to die soon, or is she….??

He resolves to murder Julia by the new year’s end, and tells her so.  She vows to stay alive, and tells him so.  And so the game begins - a year-long match of wits and the witless.  But while Julia cleverly dodges Matthew’s devious murder attempts, the Perry friends and staff are dying off mysteriously - it seems Matthew is successful in murdering everyone but Julia!

As the bodies are falling, dim-witted daughter Bunny contemplates calling off her wedding to unwitting Donald since all the intended gift-bearing guests are dying and it's ruining her table plan!

Enter Detective Plotnik who suspects everyone, but hasn’t a cluedo.

Although the play is set in America, we will be moving it Berkshire.  The only character that remains American is Detective Plotnick (possibly a James Cagney type accent).

Matthew Perry A self entitled man who from birth has had more money than sense. He is facing a minor mid-life crisis.  Not the smartest pencil in the box. Late 40' – Early 60's

Julia Perry Matthew’s wife. A classy, intelligent woman who loves her husband despite his many faults - and is always a step ahead of him!  Late 40' – Early 60's

Buttram the family butler for many years, though convinced he is above being a butler - at least for this family. He is given to crying jags, and harbours a secret.  40 - 55

Bunny Perry Daughter of Mr and Mrs Perry who has taken after her father in regards to her intelligence...unfortunately for her.  20's

Donald Bunny’s fiancé. He is very earnest, and very much in love with Bunny, despite her lack of savvy.  20's

Plotnik A witless American detective. He was born 40 years too late and has read far too many detective novels. His aspirations far outweigh his results. Couldn't find a clue if it bit him on the behind. 30's - 50's.